When “All Are Welcome” Really Means All - Outreach 2023

On my first day in New York City for the 2023 Outreach conference, I decided I wanted to go swimming. I stayed on the 12th floor of a YMCA, hostel style, and in order to find the pool I had to go all the way back down to the lobby, find someone who knew the way, commit the instructions to memory, buy a swim cap, and then trace my way through the maze-like combination of new architecture encasing the older structures that included the pool. 

It occurs to me that the life of faith for a Catholic LGBTQ person is not unlike this experience: wanting to go deeper but needing to find the right person (or people), navigating an extremely old structure combined with a modern maze, and finally arriving at a beautiful old pool lined with title from some spanish noble—hidden architectural gems. 

For Catholics who are LGBTQ, there are issues of access and support, yet there is still a rich, deep, spiritual tradition… with parts of it a bit hidden at times. 

Many have asked LGBTQ people (and will no doubt continue to ask), “why Catholic?” There are plenty of other christian traditions that embrace LGBTQ people, including the Anglicans (who of course Catholics will never want to admit were right about something). For those who stay, the sacramental nature of the catholic church is clearly important. Additionally, the great theological vault that comes from years and years of history is also important. But neither of those things is the full story. 

Catholic means universal. Now, that isn’t a free pass on colonization, but it does speak to the possibility of enculturation: only one of these concepts centers listening and learning. So often the Catholic church wants the talents of the LGBTQ community but not our honesty. Not our openness. Not our realness. LGBTQ catholics who stay in the church often have a profound prayer life because, having lived through trauma, they have felt through the trauma and come out with a very deep prayer life (and subsequently, an extremely deep understanding of the self). 

Listening to the music chosen for the prayer services this weekend, words like “gentle water, holy spirit, washing over me…” have a different, more reassuring and comforting meaning when you know that you are wanted, valued, and included by the people you’re with. Seeing women in leadership positions and given time to speak as panelists or indeed Keynote speakers, sends a much stronger message than merely paying lip-service to women’s role in the church. 

We need more of this spirit in the church. Outreach is a group of people who actually do really care what the church teaches. Who follow developments closely, and who want to participate fully, and who often lead synodality in their areas. I was amazed to hear the level of detail average attendees at the conference could go into about various theological topics, both current and indeed historical. There is a great wealth of knowledge here. Young LGBTQ Catholics need to see adults with similar experiences and identities so that they have someone to look up to—something I experienced firsthand as a transgender Catholic at the panel dedicated to my community. 

Simply put, the spontaneous and profound ease of connecting with other LGBTQ Catholics was magic. As a transgender catholic, it’s not often I talk to someone who just instantly “gets it.” Thank you to everyone involved in putting the conference on, to all the attendees and volunteers, the panelists and speakers, and of course, those who made the trek to New York City from across the country. 

To friends, old and new, thank you. Emma, Kristi, Terry, Cella, Zach, Brent, Greg, Teresa, Maribeth, Hilary, Christine, Donna, Luisa, Fran, Fr. Bryan, Fr. Martin. Thank you.

Click here to return to the main page for my trans blog