Blessed are the Empaths, for they are the Greatest Sinners

Empathy as Strength: Reclaiming Masculinity from Patriarchal Control

Originally posted on Substack by Max Kuzma and Emma Cieslik Mar 21, 2025

Digital Illustration by Maxwell Kuzma depicting the sacred heart with the words, “Blessed are the Empaths”

In a world that often defines strength through power and dominance, a toxic and immature version of masculinity equates vulnerability, kindness, and compassion with weakness. Yet, history is full of men whose strength was revealed through love, compassion, and the ability to forgive—even in the face of harm. Jesus himself shattered the old paradigm by turning the other cheek and offering a radically new kind of love—one that transcended boundaries of race, religion, and creed. But today, a growing group of young men, radicalized by fundamentalist voices, have twisted this message.

And their latest target? Empathy.

Fundamentalist Christians are leading the charge for redefining empathy as a sin with the most theologically-questionable assertions of patriarchal power (but there are Catholic examples we’ll get into later). One such fundamentalist Christian influencer is Erik Reed, who posted about Joe Rigney’s book The Sin of Empathy: Compassion and its Counterfeits, (published in February of this year).

Rigney’s book argues that empathy is a form of spiritual sabotage, and that bowing to the “social pressures” of the transgender and immigrant’s rights movements is a sign of a weak leader. In his text, he argues that Biblical compassion is distinct from cultural empathy: “Biblical compassion is like standing on a riverbank and offering a hand to someone drowning. Untethered empathy jumps in–and gets swept away.”

But the only one who seems to be getting swept away is Reed himself, who in his focus on hammering home his point (on his aptly titled podcast, “The Bully Pulpit”), apparently loses sight of the example of Jesus completely. He argues that one would only reject the claim that empathy is sinful if you are ignorant to his argument, or have had the reasoning misrepresented to you, or you’re “enslaved to the sentimentalism that prioritizes feelings over reality.” In other words, if you don’t agree with him, there’s something wrong with you.

Note: this is the fourth installment in a new series on Catholic masculinity featured on this substack. The first installment is: No Country for Kings: Bishop Barron & the Catholic Performance of Masculinity. The second installment is: We're Giving up Toxic Masculinity for Lent. The third installment is: Player 2 has Entered the Chat.

Jacob Brunton demonstrates his ideas about “masculine theology” on X

The leap from empathy to sentimentality is certainly a big one but fits well with the idea that there is something “off” or even disordered about empathy–grouping it alongside sentimentality implies a kind of flakiness that can take the form of superficiality or a kind of fragility that men like this reject.

Josh Daws, a Christian nationalist podcast host (of “The Great Awokening”), argues that empathy makes people vulnerable to manipulation, preferring the word “sympathy” instead, which he claims is more biblical. This reflects a common tactic in toxic masculinity, where projecting one’s own manipulative behavior onto others distorts the concept of empathy to control discourse.

Social media users who responded to Erik Reed critically, like X user Kinzie Didier, argue that defining empathy this way protects power structures, not people. Healthy masculinity embraces empathy, as it fosters genuine connection and challenges patriarchal authority. The real issue for these figures is that empathy allows for nuance, questioning rigid, binary perspectives, and ultimately undermines their control.

JD Vance and A Catholic Loophole for Patriarchy

The same men resharing and uplifting the sin of empathy argue that doing so is part of the performance of masculinity. They believe that this type of hatred is a righteous act for enforcing Christian rights and wrongs–and if you’re not the type of man they are, you’re definitely “wrong.” So often the hatred of these men takes aim at women, LGBTQ+ people, and immigrant communities. Somehow, they’ve convinced themselves that “love your neighbor” has a few loopholes.

JD Vance thought he’d come up with a pretty good loophole with the medieval ordo amoris concept that dates back to St. Augustine (getting his money’s worth as a Catholic convert with a nice historical reference). But Vance’s application of this concept, that loving our family is more important than loving our neighbors, didn’t hold up with Pope Francis, who clapped back with a stern reminder: “The true ordo amoris that must be promoted is that which we discover by meditating constantly on the parable of the 'good Samaritan' (cf. Lk 10:25-37), that is, by meditating on the love that builds a fraternity open to all, without exception.”

Image of JD Vance and Pope Francis

Vance’s application of ordo amoris promotes an isolationist, anti-immigrant America, while reinforcing a pro-natalist agenda that prioritizes large families of people who resemble him. His worldview pushes for conformity, discouraging individuality and differing perspectives, as it serves to uphold patriarchal power. Similarly, Elon Musk’s pro-natalist views are undermined by his refusal to acknowledge his transgender daughter’s identity, as he tried to "buy" her birth sex (through sex-selective IVF), yet her individuality persisted. Both figures reflect a Christian nationalist ethos where empathy, individuality, and the possibility of being wrong are seen as threats to their authority and control.

A failure to see and understand another person’s perspective (through empathy) is the final success of a far-right Christian and Catholic worldview that throws out accusations while also arguing it is under attack. The same groups that are fighting against empathy also argue that their groups are being targeted with growing anti-Christian and anti-Catholic bias. It was a main sticking point for American Catholics mobilized by Trump, whose largest supporters in the Church—including Church leadership like Bishop Barron—argued that modern Catholics are under attack.

The Christian Persecution Complex goes Catholic

At the National Prayer Breakfast this year, Trump claimed that the Democratic party opposes God and religion, reinforcing far-right Christian leaders’ narratives of Christian persecution and a "culture war." He also issued an Executive Order, "Eradicating Anti-Christian Bias," which was supported by the USCCB (United States Conference of Catholic Bishops). The order concentrated on Catholics, highlighting the pardon of individuals arrested for protesting outside an abortion facility, and Trump referenced FBI concerns about "radical-traditionalist" Catholics as domestic threats. A year later, a Catholic church in Missouri advertised a militia for young men to protect the church, raising concerns about the growing radicalization of Catholic young men into violent Christian nationalist movements.

In late January, USCCB president Timothy Borglio supported Trump’s executive order denying the existence of transgender, nonbinary, and intersex people, echoing similar stances from Bishops Barron and O’Connell regarding anti-trans sports policies. Their arguments center on protecting Catholic beliefs about gender, framing challenges to these views as infringements on religious liberty. This conflation of anti-LGBTQ+ legislation with religious liberty claims promotes a dangerous narrative that Christian religious freedom supersedes the rights of others, especially LGBTQ+ individuals. This sets a precedent where religious liberty is prioritized over others' rights, particularly marginalized groups, with promises of safety and protection tied to compliance being deceptive and harmful.

The argument that Christian, Catholic men have a duty to impose their morals on others perpetuates the harmful notion that masculinity is defined by dominance and a lack of empathy. This view not only fosters violence and competition among men but also leads to self-hatred, as men are pressured to conform to the "alpha" male ideal.

By framing empathy as a weakness, this ideology prevents men from understanding their own struggles and the experiences of others, especially marginalized groups. To break free from toxic masculinity, men must embrace empathy as a tool for self-reflection and connection, challenging the harmful narratives that reinforce their devotion to oppressive causes.

Healing and Sinning Boldly

On the other hand, queer Catholic men are able to acknowledge that empathy is a vital part of healthy masculinity. In mid-March, gay Catholic man Jason Steidl Jack, Assistant Teaching Professor of Religious Studies at St. Joseph's University New York, posted a photo of the bulletin board outside of Judson Memorial Church, which is the church where Jack married his husband Damien.

From Jack’s instagram story (used with permission)

The partners received a blessing from Fr. James Martin, S.J. in Manhatten on December 19, 2023, after the release of the Vatican document Fiducia Supplicans which allows Catholic priests to bless same-sex unions. The board reads: “if empathy is a sin, sin boldly.” Jack shared the photo of Judson Memorial Church’s board loudly and proudly, and said this when we reached out for a comment:

“Empathy is one of the greatest gifts that LGBTQ people bring to our relationships and communities. Because we’ve suffered the effects of queerphobia so profoundly, our hearts break and we’re moved to action when we see others suffering.

Empathy is the reason why my marriage with my husband works; it’s the foundation of my commitment to Catholic community; and it’s the heart of my political witness through Christian advocacy and activism.”

For Jack and other queer Catholics, empathy is a core part of our practice and understanding of Christianity and the key to connecting with people who feel there is no way to leave movements that equate hatred with a form of holy love and patriarchal moral control.

Healthy masculinity is capable of holding onto many different perspectives and views without losing itself, because it does not draw power from authority lorded over others. Healthy masculinity is powerful precisely because of the way that it can extend itself and share–widening the circle instead of constricting it. Men who demonstrate healthy masculinity know that a diversity of voices and opinions lead to community decisions that make all of us happier, healthier, and more free to be exactly who we are called to be.

Empathy, far from being a threat to masculinity, is one of its greatest allies. It is through empathy that men can find true strength—by recognizing and standing in solidarity with those who are marginalized, by engaging in difficult conversations, and by being open to the possibility of change. The future of healthy masculinity lies in its ability to hold space for empathy, embracing it as a vital tool for healing, growth, and collective liberation. When empathy is seen not as a sin but as a gift, we move closer to a more compassionate and just world for all.

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