I have been warned many times by family members and others that my own self-knowledge is faulty or in error and that pursuing my own happiness is a fool’s errand because being transgender and transitioning in their view is morally wrong and will never bring me so-called “lasting happiness.” For these people, “lasting happiness” could be defined as “the certainty that they are towing the line 100%” in matters of a traditional understanding of gender as expressed through christian religious belief and that this strict adherence to wrong thinking will be rewarded—if not divinely, then socially.” 

Though they would not express it that way, that is essentially what they are espousing. For instance, many celibate gay christians talk about how their lifestyle decisions were not made on the basis of their homosexuality, but that they started with their religious beliefs: their thinking goes, if the church is right about other things, then it must provide structure/answers/an outline for human sexuality that is worth following. 

(For the record, I take no issue with these celibate gay christians living their lives in this way! They are absolutely free to live as they see best, and I find them very courageous for doing so). 

This theological logic seems to follow, but what about when science and religion disagree? Now why would that happen if God created science? Well in response to this question you will get the usual conspiracy theorists and crackpots who allege all sorts of wrong-headed things (ie, that scientists have an agenda) because they themselves are ignorant of what science teaches, why it matters, and what it means. Personally, I say take it up with God, who created the natural world in the first place. 

Religious people like to create fantasies to try to explain LGBTQ+ people (“it was his relationship with his father that made him gay!” or the ole reliable “it’s just a phase”), or try to use pseudo-psychology to claim they can change someone’s sexuality or gender identity (conversion therapy), when the science is not only more interesting but also shows us that this is impossible. Sexual development in humans is actually a highly interesting and complex process that doesn’t just churn out heterosexual cis-gender people. Some might say that diversity in gender and sexuality are the result of the fall (because they view the diversity as a flaw or a struggle to bear, or even a mental illness)… but we see it in the animal kingdom, too. There are plenty of animals that engage in same-sex behavior, from sexual activity to parenting offspring abandoned by their birth parents for whatever reason. Homosexuality isn’t unique to humans, but homophobia is. 

We also know that the church has been wrong about scientific knowledge before (see: Galileo), and that often the church as a human institution becomes preoccupied with questions of social matters (the church that literally sold indulgences as a “get into heaven free” pass) or satisfying social norms of the day rather than spending time examining deeper scientific ramifications of their religious ideas.

For all of these reasons, I am less interested in what humans, even church hierarchy, say and more interested in what God says, and what God has spoken to me in the quiet of my own heart and mind (in the privacy of my own conscience).

Diversity is good, beautiful, and a gift from God. Diversity in gender and sexuality is not an indication of brokenness or wrongness at all—without question this diversity is beautiful and significant. LGBTQ+ people have something to teach all of us: not how to silently endure being a social outcast but rather something about who they are and how they ought to be treated. Their unique, unrepeatable lives matter! And the world is a better place when there’s space for all of us to be ourselves. 

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